Dan Stringer

navigating the convergence of faith, culture and the common good

Category: Vincent

November 20, 2012

Grief journal (2 years)

“There’s a hole in the world now. In the place where he was, there’s now just nothing. A center like no other, of memory and hope and knowledge and affection which once inhabited this earth is gone. Only a gap remains.” –Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son It’s been two years since we said a...

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May 10, 2012

Happy 3rd Birthday Vincent!

Dear Vincent, I wish you were here today. There’s plenty of birthday cake and ice cream, but I’ll be helping myself to your share since that’s how I self-medicate. You’re either 3 years old but not really with us, or somehow still with us but not really 3 years old. Maybe I’ll borrow your birthday...

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November 20, 2011

Grief journal (1 year)

I’ve been dreading this day for quite some time. It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole year since we lost Vincent. He seems further away than ever. Since I don’t want to write anything new today, let’s instead take a look back at the journey I’ve documented these past 12 months: November 20, 2010:  “Yesterday, there were two cute little boys under our roof. Tomorrow there will...

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October 20, 2011

Grief journal (11 months)

–Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son Let me tell you a story. I’ll make it quick so I can get back to fantasy football. Vincent was our son. He was astonishingly cute and we loved him accordingly. Then he got cancer. Then he died. Then we cried, buried him, and cried some more. Then we started...

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September 20, 2011

Grief journal (10 months)

[Insert profound grief quote here. Translation: Nothing impressed me this month.] If grieving were easy, it wouldn’t be grief. But if it’s supposed to be a rotten experience, then I guess we’re right on track. I feel a self-absorbed rant coming on, but those are so unoriginal these days. What’s the payoff for this blog-my-grief-once-a-month...

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August 20, 2011

Grief journal (9 months)

“Our lives can indeed be seen as a process of becoming familiar with death, as a school in the art of dying. I do not mean this in a morbid way. On the contrary, when we see life constantly relativized by death, we can enjoy it for what it is: a free gift.” —Henri Nouwen,...

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July 20, 2011

Grief journal (8 months)

I measure every Grief I meet With narrow, probing, Eyes — I wonder if It weighs like Mine — Or has an Easier size. – Emily Dickinson (from 561) Grief is a personal journey, often an isolating one; but it’s also a community. None of us asked to join, but we were selected nonetheless. Whether by...

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June 20, 2011

Grief journal (7 months)

Grieving has been surprisingly easy this month. Maybe it’s because we’ve been in the Philippines for the last 5 weeks, removed from most of the common “triggers” associated with routine life at home. Or perhaps it’s because of a more frightening thought: I’m moving on. Let’s stick with the first option. It’s one thing to...

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May 20, 2011

Grief journal (6 months)

“There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” –Longfellow With all the sympathy of a robotic conveyor belt, time keeps moving forward without Vincent. Half a year and counting. Every new experience pushes him further into the past, out of view, beyond reach. He stopped, but we continue. Each family milestone accentuates the...

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April 20, 2011

Grief journal (5 months)

“Sorrow is no longer the islands but the sea.” –Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son So this is it. Life without Vincent. Me no like. I still want him back. Everyday. Next month is going to be especially difficult. Mother’s Day is May 8. Vincent’s birthday is May 10. My graduation is May 14. We...

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13 Comments