Dan Stringer

navigating the convergence of faith, culture and the common good

Category: Vincent

November 21, 2017

The 7-year anniversary post I almost didn’t write

Twas a rough day in the Stringer home. Things started out alright, but I kept expectations low. After all, it was Nov. 20th, the day our son Vincent died 7 years ago. [You may have heard about him, but it’s fine if you haven’t.] Unlike previous years, I wasn’t particularly committed to writing an annual...

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May 10, 2017

Happy 8th Birthday Vincent!

It’s not just another day. Today is our son Vincent’s birthday, born eight years ago on May 10, 2009. The fact that he died 18 months later only adds significance to an already special date. How does one celebrate a loved one’s birth after their death? Our family has had some practice, but only enough...

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November 20, 2016

Grief journal (6 years)

Today we remember the short life of our second son Vincent, who died on November 20, 2010 at the age of 18 months. As we pass through the anniversary cycle a sixth time, I find the old adage holds true: the more things change, the more they stay the same. Planet earth has become a...

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May 10, 2016

Happy 7th birthday Vincent!

Six years ago, they told us what no parent wants to hear. “Your son has a tumor. Stage four.” We had just celebrated Vincent’s first birthday. He was almost walking, learning his first words. Making sense of the treatment schedule was like deciphering a grid containing every bus route in the city. Our movements were...

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November 20, 2015

Five years without Vincent

On November 20, 2010, our second son, Vincent Wing Seun Stringer, died at the age 18 months following a 6-month battle with liver cancer. That night, I wrote the first of many blog posts working though my grief, attempting to grapple with what just happened. For the next year, I posted a public entry into...

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May 10, 2015

Happy 6th Birthday Vincent!

The last time Mother’s Day fell on May 10th, I was in the hospital. Not because I was sick, far from it. Our second son, Vincent Wing Seun Stringer had just been born. I don’t remember much about that day, except feeling surprisingly relaxed. It was a peaceful Sunday morning without any traffic on the pre-delivery...

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November 20, 2014

Introducing Vincent

As a parent, I love introducing my children to people. It’s one thing to tell others about my sons, but another thing to introduce them personally. The fun part for me is watching the interaction between my sons and my friends. There’s a unique joy that comes from bringing worlds together, initiating connections between persons...

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May 10, 2014

Happy 5th Birthday Vincent!

I used to think grief and celebration were opposites. After all, we’re supposed to rejoice for victories and mourn for losses, right? But to grieve while celebrating sounds contradictory, like trying to face both east and west at the same time. “Celebrating” a loss seems like sticking candles in dung heap and calling it a birthday cake....

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November 20, 2013

Grief journal (3 years)

Three years sounds like a long while, but it’s really not. Time can do many things, but healing all wounds isn’t one of them. The pain of losing Vincent hasn’t subsided, yet the rhythms of grief have changed, at least for me. Generally speaking, daily functioning has gradually grown easier, but anniversaries and birthdays seem...

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May 10, 2013

Happy 4th Birthday Vincent!

Today is your day, Vincent. Happy birthday! We’ve got cake, presents, and a song for you. Your mom, brothers and I are ready to celebrate. For the past two and a half years, your memory has been mostly about me. It’s been about my loss, my sorrow, my questions, and my feelings. My thoughts about...

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